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The Man Who Wouldn't Die

A Novel

Audiobook
3 of 3 copies available
3 of 3 copies available

""HBO's Silicon Valley meets The Big Sleep"" (Mark Maskell Smith): A hilarious neo-noir send-up of Silicon Valley, penned by an anonymous insider.

"DOES FOR SILICON VALLEY WHAT CARL HIAASEN DID FOR FLORIDA." —Tim Dorsey

"THE MAN WHO WOULDN'T DIE IS DASHIELL HAMMETT 2.0: THE CLASSIC HARDBOILED DETECTIVE NOVEL, UPDATED FOR 21ST CENTURY SILICON VALLEY AND MADE HILARIOUS." —Brad Parks

Silicon Valley scion Captain Don Donogue is dead under mysterious circumstances. In fact, he might've well have been murdered. Just ask Captain Don himself. He's been sending messages about his suspicious death from beyond the grave. Yep, he's been tweeting from the afterlife. Or so it seems.

Could life-after-death be Silicon Valley's latest innovation? Our bodies die but our souls and social media accounts are eternal? This is the mystery that confronts the only sane person left in a region gone mad with greed, William Fitzgerald. Fitch. He's a world-class detective, tough, stoic, carries a big fist and a flip phone. He's a bad fit for Silicon Valley, where the law firms have drive-thru windows manned by barristeristas (who serve instant coffee and instant patents); attractive women aren't MILF's but TELFs (Tech Executives I'd Like To Fund); and couples are so anxious to get into the best free-play kindergartens that they get on the waiting list as soon as they freeze their sperm and eggs for later use.

One day, a woman knocks on Fitch's door. She's got a handful of cash and a wild story: She says that her father was Captain Don, or is Captain Don. He was killed, or maybe not. He's tweeting from beyond. Fitch takes the case and goes into the belly of the valley, discovering that life and death, well, sometimes they're just another transaction....

Original, clever, and hysterical, The Man Who Wouldn't Die is the Carl Hiaasen of Silicon Valley and neo-noir at its unforgettable best.

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    • Publisher's Weekly

      June 10, 2019
      The pseudonymous Jewell takes an amusing swipe at the hardboiled detective novel and the world of high tech in his fun debut. PI William “Fitch” Fitzgerald works the mean but incredibly expensive streets of a surreal version of Silicon Valley, where people “Tweep” on “Twipper” and post on “Snipchap.” Tess Donogue, Fitch’s latest client, wants him to look into the death of her father, the tech giant known as Captain Don, who was working on the ultimate next best thing, Virtual Immortality. The Captain was developing a way to download someone’s consciousness into a computer, allowing a person to live on even after that person’s body had crashed. Tess believes he succeeded, since she’s getting Tweeps from her dad suggesting he was murdered. Fitch takes the case and is soon embroiled in a cutthroat world where everyone is out to nab the most important download in human history. Sharp, satirical observations on tech-dependent society and eccentrically comic characters keep the action moving. Jewell is off to a promising start. Agent: Laura Liss, Sterling Lord Literistic.

    • Library Journal

      July 1, 2019

      In Silicon Valley, where everyone has gone nuts over technology, one dinosaur still exists. William Fitzgerald, aka Fitch, is a world-class detective, which is why Tess Donogue turns to him after her father dies. Capt. Don Donogue was an eccentric genius, a technology legend, and Tess claims he was designing a Spirit Box that allows people to send messages after they die. She insists her father is only "deadish" because she's getting messages from him saying his death wasn't an accident. She throws money at Fitch, asking him to investigate. For Fitch, that means asking questions of everyone who seems too interested in the Spirit Box while fighting off a gang called the Tarantulas. When the Tarantulas kidnap Fitch's husband in order to force him to turn over the box, nothing will stand in Fitch's way. There's nonstop action and humor in this over-the-top mockery of Silicon Valley and the pretense that innovation and technology are everything. VERDICT Jewell is the pseudonym for a Pulitzer Prize-winning technology reporter who throws all his knowledge into a funny if sometimes confusing detective novel. Fitch fits the mold of every hard-bitten, world-weary detective who happens to be gay, with a loving six-foot-two husband at home.--Lesa Holstine, Evansville Vanderburgh P.L., IN

      Copyright 2019 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

    • Kirkus

      June 15, 2019
      A giant of the digital world has died, but his daughter doesn't believe he's dead (text messages from the afterlife feeding her belief), and she turns to a Silicon Valley private eye to uncover the truth. What follows from that relatively standard premise is a genre version of what the literary critic James Wood has dismissed as the maximalist approach to fiction--books stuffed with so much invention that nary a sentence or plot turn or even a character name can pass by without demanding the reader's soon exhausted appreciative intention. The shamus here, William "Fitch" Fitzgerald, has the genre requirement of being slightly outside of (i.e., better than) the world he winds up immersed in. Amid techies desperate to remain ahead of the next digital curve, Fitch carries a flip phone. His sign of outsider status is less that he's gay (there have been gay detective novels for 40 years now) than that he's married, happily. That is the most original stroke here, a repudiation of the decree that every private eye be a lone wolf. The plot proceeds as most detective fiction does, the sleuth running into a series of characters and, inevitably, danger on the road to ironing out a balled-up plot. But as Fitch goes from character to character, so the book goes from genre to genre: It's a hard-boiled homage; it's a Hiaasen-esque farce; it's a satire of those wacky digital types--none of it believable, all eager to delight, and quickly tiring. As the time for spring cleaning approaches, the confusion of genres here requires urgent attention.

      COPYRIGHT(2019) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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