Dear Lydia,
I need help with my neighbor.
She doesn't like me, but I can't stop thinking about having sex with her. Half of me wants to fuck her, and the other half wants to choke her. Or choke her while I fuck her.
How do I put her out of my mind?
Sincerely,
Guy Problems
Who's Lydia? That's me, an advice columnist.
Who's Guy Problems? My sexy neighbor (hiding behind his computer screen).
What's the problem? I need his help. Even though he's the last person I want to ask.
Guy Problems is about to become my guy problem.