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Selfless

The Social Creation of "You"

Audiobook
4 of 4 copies available
4 of 4 copies available

Social psychologist and Stanford professor Brian Lowery presents a provocative, powerful theory of identity, arguing that there is no essential ""self""—our selves are social creations of those with whom we interact —exploring what that means for who we can be and who we allow others to be.

There's nothing we spend more time with, but understand less, than ourselves. You've been with yourself every waking moment of your life. But who—or, rather, what—are you? In Selfless, Brian Lowery argues for the radical idea that the "self" as we know it—that "voice in your head"—is a social construct, created in our relationships and social interactions. We are unique because our individual pattern of relationships is unique. We change because our relationships change. Your self isn't just you, it's all around you.

Lowery uses this research-driven perspective of selfhood to explore questions of inequity, race, gender, politics, and power structures, transforming our perceptions of how the world is and how it could be. His theory offers insight into how powerful people manage their environment in sophisticated, often unconscious, ways to maintain the status quo; explains our competing drives for deep social connection and personal freedom; and answers profound, personal questions such as: Why has my sense of self evolved over time? Why do I sometimes stop short of changes that I want to make in life?

In Selfless, Lowery persuasively breaks down common assumptions and beliefs; his insights are humbling. Despite what many may think, we aren't islands unto ourselves; we are the creation of the many hands that touch us. We don't just exist in communities, we are created and shaped by them. Our highs and lows are not only our own but belong to others as well. By recognizing that we are products of relationships—from fleeting transactions to deep associations—we shatter the myth of individualism and free ourselves to make our lives and the world accordingly.

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    • Publisher's Weekly

      December 12, 2022
      Stanford social psychologist Lowery dissects the foundations of the self in his incisive debut. Lowery defines the self as “a construction of relationships and interactions” that’s shaped by the human need to “exist in a coherent way” and is “in search of the feeling of freedom.” Unpacking this conception in individual, collective, and cultural contexts, Lowery touches on the misconceptions of the individual (mentioning the “absurdity... of life as a finite, isolated individual”), the importance of the collective (“You can’t have a social identity without a social group.... Who these people are... becomes part of you”), and the far-reaching effects of the cultural (“We understand our selves based on the rules provided by our culture”). Lowery discusses how humans are trained to exhibit customs of particular social groups, including the way they walk, speak, and occupy public spaces. Complications arise when mismatches occur between one’s sense of self and one’s publicly perceived identity: “When an... identity that is crucial to our sense of self is not validated,” he writes, one’s dignity—and sometimes safety—can be on the line, such as when transgender women fight for access to women’s bathrooms and immigrants protest for recognition in their adopted countries. It’s an accessible introduction to modern theories of the self for all fans of pop psych.

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  • English

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